New Years Eve... What?

I know I dropped off the face of the planet for a while, and I apologize. I was doing several things that didn't involve an internet connection, such as being in conservative North Carolina with my conservative family, and going on lots of dates with my boyfriend when I was not in North Carolina. I've also been shirking responsibility, pretending to clean my house in order to host a New Years party, and lying to myself that I will, in fact, lose ten pounds by NYE (aka, tonight) in order to look super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot in my new red dress. Good game, good game. I probably gained ten instead.

Anyways, I'm afraid I haven't been feeling very poetic lately. And in my opinion, a bad blog entry isn't worth your time. So I've spared you, but I feel like I owe you one. It's been a while, hasn't it? And I miss you. So this one is for you guys.

Making New Years resolutions has always been hard for me, except for one year. I was probably clinically depressed, albeit undiagnosed, and my New Years resolution was that I was going to be happier. It worked. But since then, I've done the traditional "work out more"- lasted me through the middle of February and I got lazy. Last year I don't even think that I had one, and if I did, I failed miserably. Things were a lot different 365 days ago. I had a group of friends that wasn't crumbling apart, a stable handle on where my life was going to be for the next year, an extremely strong set of morals, a nonexistent doubt in life, and a naive projection for the future. Some of those things I still posses, but some I do not.

To be honest, I don't know what 2012 will bring. This is a very pivotal point in my life, and there are a lot of things that I'm not certain about. I don't know where I'll be- geographically, mentally, spiritually, and in my relationships with others. I can't honestly imagine what life is going to be like 365 days from now. And that thought terrifies me.

However, there are certain things to look forward to. For example, I'm not sure I'll ever lose my insecurity or my fear of the unknown, and that's a comforting thought. Seriously. It's good to know that some things will be constant, amidst the incredible change about to take place.

This thought process is inconclusive, and so is this entry. I'll check back in with you in 2012. Peace out, bitches.

Forever yours, A.G.