Ten Points to Awkward.

Fuck my entire fucking life.

So I'm in a sorority, right? And in a sorority (and fraternities too), we have Bigs. Bigs are like your mentor in life, in all things greek, in school, in general. Now, my Big is a wonderful, amazing, incredible woman who is dating a guy in a frat. Typical. Now, we went on a Winnebago trip, or a 'bago', with her boyfriend's frat and I met this guy. His initials are MD, so let's call him doctor. He's a freshman, like me, and is super adorable. We see each other at a ton of parties, and he's incredibly cute and charismatic (and an actor. I mean, this is California, but seriously come on. How can I resist?). Doctor's Big is my Big's boyfriend. My big is K and her boyfriend is P. Also on the trip, I met a ton of brothers from the frat, and they all are super close with me now. This is amazing and good, except for when they start trying to set me and Doctor up. Don't get me wrong, Doctor's amazing. So funny, I could totally see myself with him. Except now that I know they think that, every time I see him is super awkward. Because I know that somewhere, someone wants us together. The reason I have to catch you up is because I'm an idiot and suck at blogging.

Anyways, my point is that now I'm always trying to impress him. I see him at tons of parties where he's being hazed, therefore drunk. And I don't mind talking to him, because I feel like he wants to talk to me. I'm drinking too, so my confidence is up. And the only time(s) I've ever seen him sober were when a. the bago was starting and he was driving and therefore couldn't drink and b. when I got pretty tipsy off of the swim team's jungle juice and literally didn't care how obnoxious/happy I seemed to see him. Well, that all just changed because I saw him in the dining hall, of all places, when he was with his friends and I was heading over to sit with my laptop, broccoli, and tortellini alone. To do some work. Which turned into blogging. Because it was so awkward. All I wanted to do was sit in the fucking courtyard and enjoy the beautiful Berkeley air and I had to have an awkward social encounter that wasn't even that awkward, I was just making it insanely awkward.

I mean he responded in all the right ways, said hi to me, asked me how I was doing, and asked if I was going to go to his frat for gameday when he left. I said I'd stop by. His smile gets me every time.

If only he weren't so short.

This isn't even anything, probably, just a stupid freshman crush.