Mentalities

It's been a while, hasn't it?

Firstly, I'd like to say that in my defense, I've been a busy bee since I started school back again. A lot of things to consider, a lot of change going on. For one, I'm now in several more performing ensembles and another three shows, meaning that rehearsal on rehearsal on rehearsal is consuming my life. No complaints though, it's the price I pay for art.

This month has been a lot about me coming out of my skin, which is hard to explain. I feel that I'm finally beginning to embrace the mentality of change that is being so quickly thrust upon me. Many important, somewhat reckless, decisions have happened recently. None that I regret. I've decided that, geographically, in a year I will be no longer in the tri-state area. Which has been hard for some people in my life to accept, but is something that I'm standing by. I need a change. I need to get away. I need to start over. Which has got me thinking a lot about my relationships with people. Which ones do I want to carry over and which ones do I get rid of? They say that people come into your life for a reason. What if the friendship has run its course? What do you do then? I'm going to be away, far away, next year. I don't want anything to prevent me from achieving all that I can achieve. I need to stop being smothered.

I've recently been reminded, by a friend of mine, that we have to do good things with the time that is given to us. We have to make use of it. And I don't think I'm doing that.

Come April, I've decided that I'm getting tattooed. I don't know what yet, I don't know where, I'm playing with designs, numbers, locations, but the decision stands. I need this, for myself. I'm also going skydiving. Because right about now, that's the thing that I need to feel alive. I need to be shocked back into living. It's sad but true.

Well, that's just about enough useless rambling for the evening. I'm going to finish painting my nails and reflecting on the strange hollowness of my current existence. Which is a lot less depressing than it sounds. Cheers!