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Today, I came home from a three day trip with some pretty crazy people. It was a breath of fresh air and exactly what I needed.

Now, whenever I come home from such trips, what I do when first back in my house always tells me something about my mood. Today, I was dealing with a friend that needed me, so I was texting. I was also hungry, so I sat at the table and read my mail and then ate dinner.

As I was dragging my suitcase up the stairs in the dark, I had a sudden desire for my old room back. See, I redid my room this past August, and I love it. But for some reason, the thought of walking into the room in its present state depressed me.

When I got to the end of the hall, I closed my eyes and turned on the light, and even though there was not a doubt in my mind as to what I would see when I opened them, I was still disappointed by the sight. It struck me that I hadn't put any of my pictures back on the walls, or filled all my new picture frames yet. I noticed how my room was in a state of disarray, something that never bothers me and that usually goes overlooked. I opened my suitcase and retrieved my phone charger. I plugged my phone in and left it on my pillow. My desk, previously facing west but currently facing north, was my next target. I took my contact case and solution and replaced them in their normal place, also adding my comb and mousse to the clutter that covered the desk's surface. As I set the comb down, I noticed that I still had the sample paint color swatches from when the room was redone, and that didn't make me sad. But the Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream pack of gum did. As did the razor that my friend used to shave before our New Years Eve party, still covered in the foundation I lent her. I hear my phone ding it's text message ringtone, I think it's called "Tinkerbell", and I ignore it, which is strange.

I'm going to take a shower, then I'm going out for the evening. And though I'm going to go spend time with the person whom I most want to see right now, I still wonder if I'll be able to shake the feeling of being alone by the time I get out the front door. Here's to hoping.