Void

Everybody's looking for something.

This was originally said by the Eurhythmics, but hey, it's applicable to life. I feel that, personally, my subconscious quest lately has been to fill the holes in my life as I notice them, sometimes even before. Let me explain.

I miss my friends from home, so I'm growing closer to my friends at school. I suppose this is the most natural and fitting of them all, but it still is a replacement of something with something different, so it was worth mentioning, if only to start.

I also, and I'm hesitant to say this, miss the presence of a guy in my life. I figured out that drunken Friday nights lead me to be lonely. I've never been at a loss for male attention (not to be conceited), and so it's relatively strange to me to be in an environment where I haven't been on a date in a solid six months, with the exception of one date that I got friendzoned on. Joy. But the fact of the matter is that this is the longest that I've been single in the past three years. Three years. That's a long time, and I think for the personal development of me here at school, it's overall been a positive thing. It was just a long step from high school to Fratland. Where the guy(s) you make out with on the weekend don't think to call or text you, except to booty call you again. And if they do, they aren't the type of guys you want to be in a relationship with, long term. Let's be honest: the real thing I miss here is cuddling. Someone to listen to my problems unconditionally, and to give me a hug and a kiss whenever I need one. The fact of the matter is that when I was going through many of the most difficult points in my life, I had a boyfriend to fall back on when I needed. This sounds completely horrible, and that I'm a bitch who uses guys, but their support through my tough times was really a blessing and a joy. Even my best guy friends provided invaluable support to me back home. And I miss having a circle of close guy friends around me.

I guess it's also a very stressful time in my academia, and the season has never been a positive one for me in terms of mental health. Oh well. It'll be spring break soon, and then at least I'll get a break from all of this.