Here I Am

...this is me. There's no one else I'd rather be. Or something like that. Lyrics to a song, if you didn't catch on.

Well, I've officially been across the country for a month and things are interesting. There wasn't a lot for me to leave at home after all, considering most of my high school friends abandoned me, and I found myself with an eclectic group for my last few days in my hometown. This was good at the time, and allowed me to start over completely, but also makes me sad when I realize that my high school chapter is essentially completely over. There is no going back. And I don't know what I'm going to do on breaks, because I'll have nobody to see.

Everyone here is amazing. I'm gaining so many new friends, which I guess are really my only friends. I started drinking, which has been an interesting thing for me. I've reconnected with multiple people from my past, including D. And G. And I'm doubting my relationship, surprise surprise. What is it with me?

I joined a sorority. I fit in completely but sometimes can't help wondering what life would have been like in a "top" sorority. I'm solidly middle-tier.

I'm also feeling rather unfulfilled. I'm not entirely sure why. I'm starting a brand new chapter in my life and all I want is someone to talk to about it. I miss having the illusion of a support system, because I don't believe I ever had much of one in the people I used to call my friends. But it was nice to pretend.

I need to find something here that fulfills me. I'm lost and lonely.