A year ago, I did not know myself.
A year ago, someone else wanted to know me. His name was J.
A year ago, I don't remember what happened, but J stopped talking to me, out of the blue, showed up with another girlfriend, and we cut contact.
In this year, I've grown closer to E. He knows most of my secrets, supports me when I need it, encourages me, makes me laugh, and best of all, does all of this in a platonic way. He's one of my best friends.
That is, until about four months ago.
Four months ago, E changed. He turned harsh, callous, insulting, and complacent. He stopped answering my texts, both when they were trivial and when they were important. He stopped answering my phone calls when I needed someone to talk to. It seemed like he stopped respecting me as a person, and I have no idea why.
To top it all off, E accused me this weekend of throwing myself at J when I knew he had a girlfriend. Not only is that not his place, that's not who I am, at all, and it felt like shit. This person, who I had trusted, loved platonically, helped, opened up to, and made myself vulnerable in front of betrayed me. It hurt worse than any breakup with any boyfriend, any fight with any other friend, anything else, ever.
It fucking sucked. And it threw me off my rocker completely. I have literally no idea what to do, where to go from here, or what to say. I feel so used and emotionally manipulated, and for someone who prides herself on being strong and able to see through bullshit, this is not a fun place to be in. I feel taken advantage of, both physically and emotionally. I don't know what to say.
This sucks.
